A Learning Experience and An Adventure

I did not have enough sleep last night, and by the time stamp on this blog you will see I probably wont tonight either.  Today was filled with highs and lows, it ended on a high note though and was generally positive.

I woke up to a room mates alarm 30 minutes before I wanted to get up.  No big deal it happens, I just could have used those 30 minutes.  We all ate breakfast or desayuno together, which was a nice start to the day.  At breakfast we decided to do a secret santa type thing for the next week, every day to honor the Colombian valentines day or amigos y amores (I think).  I like this game a lot, and on my bed this afternoon was hershey's kisses with almonds....yummm!

After breakfast 3 of us went to volunteer en el centre del los ninos cielo, an orphanage for blind children.  The total commute was over an hour, and the views of the mountains on the way were breath taking.  I did not bring my camera, but I will be on the bus again to go to all the Museums so look out for the pictures in future posts.  We arrive at the establishment at around 10am, the kids were having snack in the playground.  The school/building is made of cement, and they have a playground, basketball court, and rooms to learn, do art projects, and music classes.  I needed to use the bathroom, and found myself in a pickle because they don't have any toilet paper.  Also the bathrooms were for both genders and there was a boy who seemed to need assistance but was alone in the bathroom.  I realized very quickly that this was not just a school for the blind, but an orphanage for the blind and also mentally challenged children and adolescence.  After dealing with my dilemma,  I met and was speaking with a very small girl, I would have guessed 4 years old, but she told me she was 7.  The same happened with a few other kids who looked 13 but were closer to 18.  This made me quite sad.  While the kids were having snack, I tried to meet and introduce myself to as many as possible.  I planted myself nest to a very sweet boy, who was singing a nice song with his friend.  He wanted to hold my hand and I think just needed to be close to someone else, I enjoyed his spirit and his voice.  After snack we went into a 4th grade class, and were told to just ask questions and let the kids ask us questions in english.  The same the next class with younger kids.  The kids were genuinely excited to hear that I was also from Colombia, and were really sweet.  However, the lack of structure and organization made me uneasy.  I did not really leave at the end of the day feeling like I accomplished much.  I didn't get a sense that it would ever be much different, and the environment made me pretty sad.  I admire the volunteers and the people that work there, I just think it is better for people that are better with spanish than I am at the moment.

I feel asleep on the way back home which was in traffic and with a crazy bus driver who was honking ever 5 minutes, so I know I was exhausted!  Once we were back in the neighborhood starving, Allison (another new volunteer) and I went in search for yoga pants and Arepas.  We found the Arepas, which is like a Colombian version on a grilled cheese, the bread part being corn based.  I did not find yoga pants, and I really am in need of them now.  Hopefully tomorrow I will have better luck!

At 3:30 had my first session with my spanish tutor.  I forget his name, but he was great.  He suggested all sorts of Colombian music for me to listen to and we talked for a while.  He even gave me homework, which I did most of already.  I am seeing him again tomorrow afternoon, and for 30,000 mill pesos (10$) for an hour and a half, its a great deal!  I did feel like a complete beginner though, sigh theres only up from here!

I went to my second session of Bikram (hot) yoga at 6:15, it was a lot harder the second time!  I really enjoy it and it helps with taking my mind off of some difficult thoughts especially after this morning.  I have a feeling I am going to be pretty sore tomorrow, but in a good way.  After yoga I had dinner with my other yogi's.

I decided to accompany another volunteer to a bar about a 10 minute cab ride away.  Every tuesday they have gringo night, and people go there to meet other english speakers, or to practice their english.  I met some native Colombians, some Irish people, a German guy, and some other people from the States.  The other volunteer Danny and I hung out and spoke for a while with the Colombians.  They told me I dance like a Colombian, which I took to be the best compliment ever!  I guess it is in my blood!  We had so much fun, and made it back to the apartment before our 11 o'clock curfew.  The picture below is from our adventure tonight.  It was a really good way to finish the day.  Until next time, buenas noches!

Best First Volunteer Day Ever

Today was my official first day as a volunteer.  I decided to try every volunteer opportunity that Emerging Voices offers this week, so it should make for an interesting blog week.  Today I went to Hogar an orphanage in San Mauricio.  The orphanage work is what I signed up for here in Colombia, and I will likely spend a majority of my weeks volunteering there.  It is a nice facility where kids from infants to some over 18 can learn, live, and play.  We left a little after 8:30 and arrived at the school at 9:45.  It was my first experience riding the public transportation here called Trasmilleno, it costs 1400 pesos each way which is less than 1.25$ for a round trip.  We had to switch buses once on the way there and then catch a shuttle to Hogar.  It will take me a few trips to feel confident on doing it alone.  I arrived to kids playing in the park, and the volunteers that have been working there showed me the shed that they are painting in addition to teaching english.  Erika my new friend and fellow volunteer gave me a tour of the grounds.  There is a bakery that volunteers often help out in, various classrooms, a play ground, and buildings where the kids live.  Today was not a typical day for the volunteers or their students.  They had invited me along to take some of the kids to a mall for lunch and a movie.  We ended up taking 2 kids, and they were so excited to go on this adventure.  While waiting for the taxi to pick us up, I played with the kids that were going on the field trip and got to know them better.  Some other kids gravitated to us and we all played catch.  The kids at Hogar, from the short impression I got seem really friendly, outgoing, and energetic.  The taxis came and we went to the mall.  Our first stop was the Candy store, and these kids went wild.  They were so excited to pick whatever they wanted out, it was contagious.  I bought some of my childhood favorites and suggested they try some of them too.  It was really fun, and I will include some pictures with todays entry.  Next stop was Burger King where we all had some lunch.  Then with our bk crowns, (which Erika and I didn't take off despite the stares until we got back to our apartment later this afternoon) we went to the movies.  We saw Ice Age 4, completely en espaniol.  It was actually pretty helpful to try and figure out what was going on, I enjoyed it and got mostly what was going on.  We dropped the kids off back at Hogar, and I honestly can not wait to see them again.  They were bright, happy, accepting, and smart kids.  At Hogar we as volunteers teach english to kids that are being adopted to the states or anywhere I guess.  I am excited for the work in the upcoming weeks, I am more nervous about remember how to commute there.

We got back to the apartment close to 5, and I met my spanish tutor to schedule a time to meet with him this week.  I have tomorrow afternoon for an hour and a half to start.  I will not be able to take as many lessons as I had hoped, but it will be helpful none the less.  I have also been trying as much as possible to speak when I am out and about.

At 6 I went to a Bikram yoga class.  I have to say it is just what I needed!  For those of you who don't know Bikram yoga is a 90 minute yoga class in a hot studio.  It was completely in spanish and I loved it, the fact that I could not understand all of it helped my mind stay on doing the yoga, verses getting bored and wondering elsewhere.  The class was also helpful for learning words like inhale, exhale, and many body parts.  Afterward I felt energized, and relaxed.  I will be going a lot while I am here.  I needed something to stay centered, and also help get my mind of of this intense, emotional, and exciting trip.

With that I leave you with pictures from today and a word; NAMASTE

New Friends, New Year, and New Goals

I usually do not get homesick at all, but I really enjoy bringing in the Jewish New Year with my family.  I spoke to my parents earlier before they headed to their Rosh Hashana dinner at my aunts, and it was really nice seeing them on face-time!  Something about driving around the neighborhood I would have grown up in last night and not feeling connected to it, made me miss Cambridge my friends and parents.  I always said I didn't quite fit in anywhere, but I do feel at home and comfortable up north.  I think I will always be that "different" person, unique, but I am growing more and more ok with it, even happy about it.

Today was the perfect temperature, not too hot and not cold at all.  I woke up around 9, made some huevos and toast (I should learn the word for toast soon, lol), showered, and then ventured outside.  I went to the market with some of the other volunteers.  I purposely did not bring a lot of cash (pesos) with me, I figure I can do souvenir shopping whenever and I should wait till later in my trip.  I did get 3 pairs of earrings for less than 6 us dollars.  Some are gifts and one pair is for me.  I also got a pair of leg warmers, a pleasant surprise to find those here!  We walked around for a while, they shut down a main street on Sunday's for bicyclists and runners.  People here are pretty active and with the food here I can see the need to be.  I have set a new goal for my trip, and that is to join a gym or do classes somewhere.  After eating Crepes & Waffles last night and my huge meat and carb oriented lunch today, I realized I will feel better if I am working out at least as much as I do at home.  It will help me get out of my head about being here and all of the possibilities good and bad that have to do with my search.  As long as a one month membership is not too expensive I will be getting one.  I also learned that my need to have something sweet at least once a day is part of my Colombian heritage :)  There are pastry and dessert shops on every corner and sweets including an amazing discovery called Arequipe, it is like caramel but less sweet and delicious!

A few weeks before coming to Colombia, I joined a yahoo group for fellow Colombian adoptees and relatives of them.  I commented on a post on the group page, and received an email from a nice woman who is my age, also adopted from Colombia, and just moved to Bogota.  We have been corresponding since and decided to meet this afternoon.  I met her and her husband for lunch around 2.  It was really nice to speak to someone else who understands what its like to be in a country where you would have grown up.  Everyone's story is completely different, but there is also an understanding we have.  I am so lucky to have grown up in such a diverse city, and to have friends from all walks of life.

This will be a good week.  I get to try every volunteer opportunity that Emerging Voices has.  Tomorrow I will be working at the orphanage called Hogar.
Tuesday I will be working with blind children.
Wednesday I will be helping to feed the homeless.
Thursday I will be teaching english to kids at a school called Soacha.
Friday I will be helping female senior citizens through a project titled Abuelitas.

As Rosh Hashana is upon us, I feel really positive about bringing in the new year by helping others.

Letter to Magnolia

I had decided to write my birth mother a letter weeks ago, but procrastinated until this previous wednesday to do so.  It is one of those things where there is so much that can be said and so much that also doesn't need to be said.  I wanted to express gratitude for her decision and also express a desire to meet her.  While doing that I also decided that I needed to not put too many expectations on what our future relationship could be.  I wanted it to be a letter that if she read and still could not see me, at least I expressed what I needed to about her decision.  That being said here is the short letter I wrote to her in English and Spanish:

Dear Magnolia,

25 and a half years ago you made the decision to put me up for adoption.  I

want to thank you for that choice.  I have grown up with 2 loving parents

and many positive experiences in life.  I got to go to summer camp every

year, play sports, I have gone to a university and have earned my bachelors

degree.  I wouldn't change anything about my life, except I would like to

meet you.  My whole life I have thought of you and wondered what you are

like, what you look like, and if we are similar.  I would be honored to get to

meet you, the woman who gave me life and opportunity.

With love,

Sara


Querida Magnolia:

Hace 25 años y medio tomaste la decisión de darme en adopción. Deseo agradecerte por esa decisión. He crecido con dos padres amorosos y muchas experiencias positivas en mi vida. Tengo que ir a un campamento de verano cada año, practico deportes, he ido a una universidad y he obtenido un título profesional. No cambiaría nada en mi vida, excepto que quiero conocerte. Mi vida entera he pensado en ti y me pregunto cómo eres, cómo luces, si nos parecemos. Estaría honrada de llegar a conocerte, la mujer que me dio la vida y la oportunidad.

Con amor

Sara

Reality On Another Level

I was able to sleep last night and it was the first time in a few days that that was the case.  I guess my nerves are starting to finally settle down.  I woke up at 8ish, I would have liked to sleep longer but the walls are thin and I am a light sleeper.  I made some huevos and toast, and talked to some of the other volunteers.  I unpacked and then took a pretty warm shower.  I was told that the orientation would begin at 3, so I took it pretty easy until then.  There is only one other new volunteer and her name is Allison, we decided to go get coffee when our orientation was pushed to 4.  The orientation was basically just a quick overview of the volunteer opportunities here and rules etc.  Then we took a walk around the neighborhood and bought some essentials like towels.  I also decided to buy a cell phone for emergencies, and to communicate with all of these people who are helping me with locating and approaching my bm (birth mother).

Upon getting this cell phone and waiting over an hour for it to activate, I called Guillermo the first chance I got.  Guillermo is a friend of an upstairs neighbor of mine growing up who became a very close family friend named Melissa.  When I told Melissa about my trip a week ago, she immediately emailed everyone she knows in Colombia.  More than one of them have been helpful and Guillermo has been especially helpful, contacting everyone he can think of to help me locate my bm, also helping me translate a letter I wrote for her.  I finally was able to meet with him tonight and it was a wonderful experience.  We had dinner with his daughter who is also fluent in english and will be my translator shall I need one.  After dinner his daughter went out with friends and Guillermo offered to drive me to the neighborhood that we know my bm is registered to vote in and therefore lives close to.  Guillermo told me that Magola can also be called by Magnolia and it does not mean that my bm changed her name.  He also taught me a lot about the neighborhoods in Bogota and the structure of them based on income etc.  When I learned that my bm was registered to vote in a "middle class" area, I took that as a good sign, that maybe she was able to do well for herself after making the decision to give me up for adoption.  Upon taking this drive and speaking with Guillermo tonight I learned that middle class here is not the same as middle class in the states.  I knew that was true already, but seeing with my own eyes and experiencing the difference was mind boggling.  Guillermo explained Bogota to have 6 levels, the 6th being the highest income earning people who have houses with pools etc, and the level 1 being the most poor and unsafe neighborhoods that earn little to no income.  We guessed and are guessing that my bm is in the level 3 range.  The neighborhood the apartment I am staying in is a level 5, which explains the chic coffee shop we went to earlier.  Anyways, driving around this place I would have lived and grown up in was so weird.  I felt guilty not feeling safe there, because it would have been my home.  Guillermo kept saying these are your roots, and it just was surreal.  It is completely different than Cambridge, in every way.  I don't know if my bm could have even imagined in her wildest dreams the life I have had.  I can see why she would want to provide other opportunities for me.  We might go to my bm's birthplace Samana, Cladas.  Its a 7 hour drive or a short flight away.  It might be nice to see where she is from and therefore explore my roots even deeper.  I didn't even think that was an option until Guillermo suggested it.  Sometimes people come into your life with kindness and an ability to help you and you just have to accept it, I feel so overwhelmed with gratitude towards him and his effort to assist me in this journey.  I don't know how I could ever even begin to express my gratitude towards him.  I feel once again like the luckiest and most blessed person ever.  Buenos Noches

Here & Not Quite Settled

The trip was quite pleasant, my aunt sent me off with some goodies, and I didn't have a hard time getting through security which was a great relief since packing is always a challenge for me.  I met a fellow 20-something heading to Colombia from boston too, so that was nice to have him to figure stuff out with.  We were both heading to the same place but for completely different reasons, he will be on the coast vacationing and I am on a few missions.  Once we got off the plane in Bogota, got through customs, where they were puzzled by me, exchanged our money into Colombian pesos and got our luggage, my new friend found his ride and left.  I wandered for a while looking for a sign with my name on it and I didn't see it.  I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or my anxiety leading up to that very moment but internally, panic started to set in.  I forgot that I had already saved a note with the program lady's number on it and address of the apartment.  Luckily I soon remembered that and asked someone to use their phone.  He brushed me off quite coldly, but with the nudge of his friendly and compassionate wife, he dialed for me the number.  No answer.  I went back to looking.  People constantly asking me if I need a cab or hotel, walking through a crowd with luggage and still no sign of someone for me.  I asked for help from a very friendly gentleman who works for a hotel and he began to help me, but then had to help an actual customer. When he walked away to help the customer, I spotted my ride.  Relieved I went up to this very friendly woman, we thanked the gentleman when he returned and then caught a cab.  35 minutes and we arrived at the apartment.  I am not yet fully unpacked and I have decided to finish tomorrow.  I have orientation at 3 and nothing to do before.  I have no idea where and what to eat, so I think that will be my big decision for tomorrow before orientation.  I chatted with the people here, and they all seem nice.  It is really weird being here, but I am relieved to have reached the apartment and the people here seem really nice.  My insecurities about the language are still high, but I managed to communicate in my tough situation earlier at the airport, so I am happy that worked out.  Maybe I will be able to sleep all night tonight!

Airport and Anticipation

I am sitting here at Logan Airport awaiting to board by flight to Orlando, and being chatted up by some nice people here.  My mood is serene and I am feeling pretty calm.  This has been an overwhelming week with highs fueled by good news, and high anxiety.  So much has been discovered and I have had a difficult time processing it all.  I am truly overwhelmed by the help I have already received by people up north and people in Colombia.  Less than a week ago, I had no idea where and how to even begin searching for my birth mother.  In the last few days I have found out that my birth mother is alive, and changed her first name to Magnolia.  It's quite a pretty change, if I do say so myself.  I also found out that she is registered to vote in an area only 30 minutes drive from where I will be living.   Now Boarding.......