Adoption Day

26 years from March, I was born.  3 months and 10 days later, 26 years ago from this past Sunday, I was adopted.  For those of you who know my family, or even have read my blog, you know how amazing my parents are.  I truly couldn't be luckier.  Its funny how much can change in a year, while some things are still the same.  Their love and support has been unwavering throughout my entire life.  Last summer at this time, I was gearing up for a life changing journey.  Without their support, I do not know if I would have been so brave. 

In a few weeks I am returning to Colombia, this time to stay with Magnolia and Julieth.  I cant believe this is my life.  I cant believe that I have maintained this new relationship for almost a year and now I get to return and I have a place to stay and people to care for me there.  It is weird still though, and the realization factor is taking a little while to settle in.  The language barrier makes life relating to them more difficult. On my last trip, I became more reserved and shy without being able to communicate.  This trip I am going to try and be more vocal and expressive and show them who and how I am in life.  I am going to speak in English to my nephew and I will do my best with the Spanish.  I have failed at practicing a lot while being home, and have intentions to do better in the future.  Life has a way of getting in the way of that, I work a lot and when I am not there are a million and one other things to do.  I feel bad that I didn't try harder, but at the same time learning language is not an easy feat.  Even if you can read it and understand or even hear it and understand it, communicating it back is a whole other story.  The last time I skyped with Magnolia and Julieth, they mentioned having gifts for me.  Its amazing to me, that they feel the need to give me anything more than they have thus far.  

I tend to romanticize a lot in life, and have been the one to always give more in relationships than has been reciprocated.  With family there is an unconditional love that some of us are fortunate enough to experience.  I have had unconditional love from my family since the day they knew about my existence, and my biological family has really opened their arms, home, and hearts to welcoming me into their lives.  I would not change a thing.

Life is hard, even for the most fortunate of us.  But we have the choice to live in laughter, with family and friends, and surround ourselves with love.  This is how I choose to live, and strive to provide the same for my families here, and in Colombia, and my future family.

December in a Nutshell-Goodbye 2012

Its funny how as kids, teenagers, or even young adults we are in a constant battle to prove our independence.  To separate ourselves from our parents, to go out into the world and live life our way.  Sometimes I realize that in this battle to declare my ability to be independent and responsible, I loose the moment at hand.  I maybe should have appreciated being a teen more, instead of getting jobs and wanting to earn money.  Since I have been back from Colombia, I have tried to process that experience while also trying to get a full time event job so that I can move out asap.  I stressed myself out so much having spent all of my savings on my trip, and being ready to move out and finally break away from my parents.  The trip having given me the confidence to know that I can face the unknown on my own and everything will be ok.  Friday night I finally let loose and relaxed with my family, we saw a show in the south end called Our Town, and ate at my favorite restaurant Beehive.  In spite of my urge to breakaway and be an independent adult, I am more grateful than ever to have the relationship I do with my parents, but also the opportunity and option to move out when I can truly be comfortable doing so.

I haven't blogged for a about a month, and it feels like so much has happened.  I had a Hanukkah potlock at my house on December 15th.  It was so special to have my friends over, we played dreidel and I played Pandora Hanukkah station (HILARIOUS)!  It was nice to share this aspect of my life with some important people in my life, none of whom have ever celebrated it.

Milo and Mia dressed appropriately for the dinner.

All the yummy food people brought.  I made sweet potato latkes, apple pie, chocolate chip cookies, and homemade ice cream.

Above are pictures of our 2 Menorah's, one of my friends thought the person above was a ninja its really the Fiddler on the Roof.  It was the funniest moment of the night.  I gave everybody a bag of gelt as a favor and also to play dreidel. 

The Santa Run kicked off the holiday season right, it was a lot of fun!  I have never seen so many half naked people in december!

This year I decided to make everybody their gifts.  I made the candle holder pictured below for my aunt.  I painted it with Essie "Penny Talk".

For my besties Benny and Kyle I painted each of them ornaments and I made Benny a picture collage and Kyle a chalkboard frame for grocery lists and such.  The painting on the bottom left is a BEAUTIFUL abstract painting of Colombia that Benny made me.  To say I love it would be an understatement.

More celebrating at my old friends house Maya and Melissa.  For years I have helped them decorate their tree and it has become a very special tradition to me.

Of course this wouldn't be my blog if it didn't include my favorite manicure of the month.  How cute and seasonal, but not too holiday focused.  Love Love Love

I changed the previous manicure to this for an interview.  Thought it turned out pretty cute.

The painting that Benny gave me for Christmas inspired me to re-do the wall in my room with various important pictures to me.  Including my mom's parents wedding photo, and a framed handmade sewn cloth that I got on my most recent trip to Colombia.  I still need to fill 2 frames but I am in love with the way it turned out.

On December 22nd my best friend Mikel got married, and I was a bridesmaid in the wedding.  I was honored to be a part of their special day, and it was the best wedding I have ever been to!

This year has been a whirlwind!  From going on my big adventure, to starting a new career.  By the way I just landed a full time job as the Conference Concierge at the Ritz Carlton in Boston Common.  I will get to work with and at ALL of the events at the Ritz.  I am so excited to start working a very important event role at such a luxurious hotel!  I will be posting about some of the event experiences I have!  I am happy to bring in 2013 which will be filled with new career experiences, new relationships with biological family, and filled with love from all of my friends and family here in Mass.  I don't know exactly what the future holds, but having faced big fears in 2012 and coming out on top I am excited to see what comes my way next!

My New Years Resolution- To make the best of the life I am blessed with!

Thanksgiving Thoughts...A Week Later

This year has brought about many changes, some not the most fun, and some completely positively life changing. As this year comes to an end, I leave it behind as one of the best and most important years of my life.  At the end of the day I would not change a thing that I experienced, or did this past year.  I worked hard, and was honest with myself about the direction of that career choice.  I fell in and out of love.  I was true to myself, and I faced one of the biggest fears I had.  I met many new people, and strengthened the relationships that were already important to me.  I gave back, and found a greater purpose. I learned to embrace my talents, and show them off.  I found my voice and then I shared it.  Overall as I have said a million times before I feel incredibly lucky to have this life, to live with the people I do, to be surrounded by love and support, and to be given the room and freedom to express myself and grow freely to become the person I am.  This past Thanksgiving was the best of my life, I was with the people (and dogs) that I love dearly, and as I feel every year so much to be grateful for, but this year was even better because I had some deep questions answered.

Fun Fall Picture/ Style

Baking the day before Thankgiving

My KitchenAid Hanukkah Gift
AKA Thanksgiving Helper

Pies! From Top Left-Clockwise
Key Lime Moose Tart
Pumpkin Banana Moose Tart
Apple Caramel Wine Crunch Pie
Pumpkin Pecan Pie

My Thanksgiving look including nails, and the table setting I made the day of, including place cards with personal notes on the back.

Skype the Game Changer

I finally spoke to my birth family tonight!

I was Facebook chatting with my sister using a translate app on my phone the last few weeks off and on.  We scheduled a time to speak on the phone last sunday, but after trying a few times and almost certainly speaking to a southerner a few times  I gave up.  Discouraged and left feeling guilty, thinking they were sitting around waiting for my call, my morning was ruined.  We continued our Facebook routine, and all of the sudden my sister asked me if I have Skype.......Of Course! How could I not have asked her that already?  So we connected on Skype, the camera was completely blurry but at lease we got to hear each other!  My nephew was screaming in the background "Tia, Tia", Juliet said that he asks for me all the time and misses me a lot.  She also told me that everyone knows about me, and she cant wait to introduce me to all of her friends.  I spoke to Magnolia too, and she said she misses me and also told me all about Juliet's birthday party.  I wish I could have been there, it was on October 30th and was a costume party (my kind of party!) it was also a complete surprise for Juliet.  Sounds and looked like quite the fiesta!  They are going to get a new camera or get the camera they have fixed and hopefully I will get to see their beautiful faces soon!  With Skype it will not feel like ages since I have seen them, when I finally get to see them again.  I am left tonight feeling really good about the conversation.

Coming back home has been a mixed bag of emotions.  On one hand, I longed for my family and familiar surroundings.  On the other hand, I wanted to continue getting to know my birth family.  It is sometimes hard for me to believe that this experience actually happened to me.  It feels like a dream, which makes me smile because it is in actuality my reality.  I can't wait to go back to Colombia, hopefully with my parents and visit my birth family again soon.

Freddy

My whole life I have grown up thinking that I had an older sister.  I thought what it would be like to meet her, if she looked like me, talked like me etc.  I found out on my journey to Colombia, that I never had an older sister, that the whole time I had a brother.  His name was Freddy and for those of you who have been following my blog, you know that he was murdered in April of 2010.  Even though I never got to meet him, the idea of having an older brother is still effecting me.  I have been asking myself "what would Freddy say?" about various situations.  I feel that an older brother would be protective of me, insightful, and picky on my behalf.  He would remind me to work hard, and to respect myself.  He would want the best for me.

He was a serious guy in pictures, but I was lucky to watch some videos of him.  When I got Magnolia the DVD player for her birthday, we found some home movies and DVD's with slideshows.  The way he treated our younger sister Juliet and how he embraced his baby girl, I am sure he would have been that way with me too.  He was over 6 feet, I am 5'4, Juliet is just shy of 5 feet.

I never knew it was possible to miss someone you never met, and never knew existed.  I guess it is...

What Now?

Now that I have returned so many people have asked me what happens now, people have even assumed that my blog is over.  This story isn't over, I don't know what lies ahead, but I know that this isn't the end of my story.  At this very moment, I have answered imoortant questions that were holding me back in my home life.  I have explored my heritage.  Now is the time to get my life at home together.  To start a career that embraces my talents, where I can be my creative self.  I have decided to start a career in Event Planning and Coordinating, or to work towards that.  In addition once I find a position, I would like to continue to volunteer here.  I would like to give my time to children, hopefully the children's hospital, my schedule permitting.  In some way or another I will incorporate giving back into my life.  I have had friends express a desire to start volunteering too, so I will help anyone who wants to find ways to help that will work for them.

I made a commitment to myself to blog my journey to Colombia everyday, I kept that commitment and found it therapeutic and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.  I think I will keep this blog up, blogging about everything that makes me tick.  My love of fashion, makeup, baking, DIY (do it yourself projects), family, dogs, volunteering, traveling, and my adventures with work.  I will not be doing a blog post everyday anymore, but when I'm inspired to I will post.

I intend on seeing the world, and after this recent adventure volunteering all over the world.  I would like to find someone to practice regularly with my Spanish. I would like to stay in contact with Magnolia and Juliet, and I would like to visit them again. We have hurdles in the form of language barriers mostly, and distance.  I think with technology and its reach, it will help to make these hurdles easier to overcome.

Magnolia wrote in her last letter to me, that I was brave to travel to Colombia and search for her without knowing what lay ahead.  I am starting to embrace the notion of bravery on my part, but the truly brave person in this equation is her.  To give a child up for adoption not knowing what is in store for that baby, but trusting that everything will work out.  Leaving my destiny in fates hands, and then to reopen the pain and guilt associated with the adoption and open her heart to meet me, and incorporate me into her life.  Magnolia is the brave one, as I said in my letter to her before knowing that I would ever meet her, I thank her once again for giving me life and opportunity through adoption.

Letter from Magnolia to My Parents

Here is a letter that Magnolia wrote to my parents.  

She signed it below.