My whole life I have been told by other people who they think I am. Tonight someone called me a coconut, dark on the outside and white on the inside. He said "listen to yourself, you are white." I have been told by other hispanics growing up, that I am not spanish because I do not live with other hispanic people, and I don't speak the language, and because I "talk white" whatever that means. I have been asked by a white neighbor if I was the new cleaning lady. I guess being considered "white" by some doesn't exempt me from racism towards my skin color. I have been told by a fellow Jew right to my face, that I am "too dark to be Jewish". So according to everyone else I am not hispanic enough, not white enough, and not jewish enough. I think the fact that people can not easily check a box with my description in it, they feel the need to tell me what their opinion is. Often times it is hurtful, and never true.
Colombia is the blood that runs through my body, it is the blood that beats in my heart. It gave me this face, my curves, and tan skin. White are the arms that embrace me, and care for me. White are the faces that I know as parents, and that I love more than words can express. Judaism is the connection I have in my heart with my God. Judaism is in my soul, my relationship with my religion lifts my spirit. This is who I am and this is why I came back to my country, to learn more about what is inherently me. What is nature vs nurture? No matter what I find out about myself on this journey, at my core I am a Colombian, and I am a Jew, but most importantly I am just me.
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